He walked out crazy happy and told everyone, it’s a girl!
I am blessed with a daughter!
Well in those days there were no mobiles so he was just telling everyone face to face. Nurses, his store staff and even the visitors before they could actually arrive in the room where mom was and ask about us, me and mom I mean 🙂
Mom tells me, he was so busy making announcements and sharing the good news he didn’t even check on us at peace. He was high on my arrival I believe…haha!
What I am told is that he never picked me up for about 3 months. Yes because he was scared that he might not do well in handling the most delicate thing he had ever seen. Not just that I do not have a single memory when dad shouted at me, he was always sensitive about my super sensitivities and thought I might as well choke on a loud tone.
That’s my Dad for you.
Trust me every child at our joint family home was scared of him.
I was in 12th standard, it was the day of my Physics exam. While brushing my teeth I bursted into tears. No, I wasn’t a drama queen, I was just a super nervous kid over burdened with expectations from myself. I see that as an entrepreneurial sign :P. What did my dad do? He took my tooth brush, sat me down and announced, “No need to appear in the exam”, I will send a medical.
He didn’t mean to spoil me. It was like you go and fail, I am fine with it. But nothing should make my kid cry, no tears even if it means no exam! Chill and relax, me being me said no it’s fine, I can handle it, it’s just the pressure.
When I reflect on those times today, I understand why all the motivational guru’s and therapists talk about the ‘do nothing’ concept at times or reverse mindset. I still am not sure but I know one thing – When you get tired, don’t quit. However, giving up at the overwhelming moment is no crime.
There was another instance that I recall about dad now. It was during my college admissions. The course I opted for was launched that very year in the city in one of the boys colleges that opened the course for girls as well in that particular year. Since I have always studied in the co-ed that was never an issue so I applied. Eight girls got admission and out of those seven were pretty much influenced, scared or misguided to take a transfer.
While the transfers were on, I was attending classes, struggling to find a space of ‘it’s okay, you can study here instead of the everyday looks shouting at me.
Oh! She is the one 🙂 Well since I was pretty focused and sure of what I wanted to study, I never complained about it but honestly for the first few weeks, there were professors who used to ask me every day during attendance, “ain’t you considering a transfer? Other girls are moving out”.
One day, my brother came home from tuition and hurled dialogues at me like why couldn’t I study elsewhere. When mom enquired, he told her how his tuition professor had told him, about the discussion in the staffroom where one of the teachers said “Lion walks alone” and everyone laughed! My brother was anxious that he could not stand up and say, well that girl who is the only one pursuing the course in a batch of 650 is my sister!!
Nevertheless, I was a little affected wondering, now what the fuss! I didn’t say any of the ‘Lion walks alone’ kind of thing.
Then came my hero, my Dad. He had just returned from work when mom told him about my bro being anxious. While relaxing he said, “Oh well! I said that.”
When mom enquired further, he shared that when we went to pay my course fee, the staff started counselling him on taking a transfer but since he was aware that I won’t get the course there, he said: “I understand your concerns, but I trust my child and she will study here. Besides, a lion walks alone, never in a pack”.
Growing up, we had our fair share of restrictions, do’s and don’ts. But they were age specific – never gender specific. I consider myself truly blessed about that. While I am still the nervous and sensitive one, my sister is the bold one, dad’s version among siblings I would say.
College got over and I chose to do a master in business administration. Again there are several moments when every miss you call, panicked study moments or peer pressure talks will be answered as, ‘Don’t worry about the course or fee, just come back’, all I want is my kid to be happy 🙂
After 2 years of my MBA, I went for an interview, felt very uncomfortable, and took charge. Stood for myself, gave it back – left, right and centre. Rushed back home, scared as a child. That night I called my dad and I just wanted to narrate the episode to him, he said “You did the right thing”. I am proud of you. In my mind, I knew if I would not have done that, I would have repented about it my entire life. He said the same thing, I am still proud of myself for that day 🙂
In 2009, I decided to launch my agency 30TH FEB. I had already decided to quit. My mom was worried, why take so much stress. Others in the family too thought it was a difficult bet and I should reconsider. Then I asked my dad, here’s the conversation:
Dad: You will do it right, right?
Me: Yeah I wanna give it a shot, job can always happen later, if I fail.
Dad: Go ahead, do it. If you think you can do it, you will do it.
This November, I will be completing 12 years of entrepreneurship 🙂
When he saw an advance copy of my upcoming book, he said I am overwhelmed with happiness and a proud 56-inch chest. He was proud that I dared to do things that are much more difficult or bigger to achieve. He flaunted it to a few friends too, a true cheerleader collecting blessings for me.
I have had numerous episodes when I was a super childlike! He used to bring me balloons. He used to laugh at my stupid nervous pangs He wondered if I could handle money when I gifted something expensive to my sister. He always was unhappy that I spoil the younger ones a lot and I always felt glad for them to have someone to spoil 🙂
Inherently a believer of conversations for conviction I am glad to always have had the opportunity to talk, share and discuss almost everything with my parents. Grateful that me and my siblings were never told to blend in and were trusted enough that we can stand out.
My biggest blessing I don’t remember a single incident when dad or grandad told me ‘no for anything because I am a girl’ though mom says it was her who handled such episodes at her level. But c’mon isn’t this a true blessing that he never tried to hurt me by saying anything that I would feel bad or may argue about.
We do argue with him like all the kids. We can tell him his flaws. We exchange stories and we do take sides between mom and him. He might as well have flaws like all of us human beings, as a friend, a person, a husband, a brother, a son. But as my dad, he always was and still is, the wind beneath my feet. He always could take the burden of my fears, my pain. He is my dad ~ my super hero.
Well this scribble dribble is the result of a recent long conversation with my dad and my reflections about him being my mr. awesome cheerleader always. I will soon be writing about how one can nourish the very element of entrepreneurship in my next post.